Groovy

“Don’t hit the house!”

“I can’t hear you!”

“Stop!”

Things got tense for a minute on Thursday. I reunited with two longtime collaborators to set a massive stone into a tight spot. We were sliding a seven-and-a-half-foot granite slab into a small nook in the finished front entry. With only an eighth of an inch clearance on each side and a sliding glass door to navigate, there was no room for error.

The three of us have worked together for years, but it’s never been the healthiest dynamic. We always get the job done, but it usually involves stress and negativity. When things get hard, the same pattern plays out. One of us gets angry. One goes silent. One tries to keep the peace. A little pressure brings all our unresolved issues back to the surface. Then, when it’s over, we slip into the rhythm of old jokes and familiar stories, like we weren’t just ready to kill each other.

We never acknowledge this pattern. And so we never grow. We just fall back into the well worn grooves of old experience. I wish I’d been a better leader years ago when we worked together every day. Now that we’ve gone our separate ways and only join forces a few times a year, we’re past the point of changing it. I still like the nostalgia of slipping back into that familiar groove, but I can’t help wondering what it might have been if I’d stepped up sooner.