3Ps in Action: FOMO

-a series where I work through the decision-making process on real projects-

I know I should say no to this project.
But knowing you should do something and actually doing it are two very different beasts.

I’m hesitant to say no because I’m afraid.

Afraid that if I say no, I’ll lose my status as their go-to guy.
Afraid I’ll disappoint the people involved—people I like.
Afraid I’ll miss out on future opportunities.

When I stop and write those fears down, they seem silly.
And they are. But they’re also real.

Just because they’re real doesn’t mean I have to obey them.

Saying no can feel risky.
It takes confidence.
It takes faith that something better aligned will come along.
It takes letting go. Letting go of people-pleasing. Letting go of wanting to save the day. Letting go of FOMO.

If, or rather, when I say no to this project, the world won’t stop spinning.
They’ll find someone else. Hopefully someone better suited for the work.
The people involved won’t lose sleep over it.
We tend to exaggerate the weight of our own decisions.
In most cases, no one really cares. It’s not a big deal.

I might miss out on future work. I might not.
There’s no way to know.
What I do know is this: this project isn’t something I’m excited about, or even particularly good at.

It’s foolish to think that by saying yes to something only tangentially related to the work I want to be doing, they’ll think of me for something truly aligned later on.
People can’t read your mind.
They can’t see your secret heart.

You have to show them.