It’s Not Your Price

Hard to believe, but I made a mistake in the last post.

I put a lot of emphasis on the idea that your price isn’t you.

What I meant to say was: the price.

This small shift in wording matters more than it seems.

When we label something as “ours,” it becomes part of our identity. That’s my team. That’s my political party. That’s my favorite ice cream. It becomes part of who we are.

And once something is tied to our identity, it gets a lot harder to think clearly about it.

If someone talks trash about your favorite football team, it feels personal. Because it’s your team, their insult becomes an insult to you.

The same thing happens with pricing.

When I present my number to a client and they say yes, it doesn’t just feel like a yes to the project. It feels like a yes to me. A confirmation of my value.

The bigger the number, the more I must be worth.

But if they say no?

Now it feels like a rejection of me. Not just my price. Me.

Suddenly I’m not worth that much. I’m not valuable. I was foolish for even thinking I might be.

Of course, none of this is real. It’s a story we make up in our heads.

The client isn’t assigning you a moral value. They’re not judging your humanity or your creative worth. They’re trying to figure out if they can afford a new walkway.

It’s not about you.
It’s not personal.
It’s just the price.

Still, separating yourself from that number is easier said than done. I haven’t mastered it. But I have found one simple shift that helps:

Change the words you use.

It’s not your number. It’s the number.
It’s not your price. It’s the price.
It’s not your estimate. It’s the cost.

It’s a small shift. But it helps keep your identity out of the estimate. And that keeps you clear-headed, confident, and free to price the work properly.